How To Gain Independence From Insecurity

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Do you lack confidence? What keeps you from moving forward? Do you second guess yourself and question your abilities? Have you ever asked why?

You might be under the rule of insecurity.

Merriam Webster dictionary defines insecurity as "Not confident about yourself or your ability to do things well."

That definition is interesting because it focuses on external circumstances.

Where are you getting your worth from? Does it come from your career? Your possessions? Who you know? How you look? What others say about you?

Do you notice a common theme? Each of these have to do with external circumstances.

Insecurity takes over when we attempt to get our worth from the wrong things.

Now, we can't go around having a "Who Cares" mentality living however we want. No! We should work to perform our job with excellence and treat others as we want to be treated. The key is ensuring that our worth and value are not wrapped up in our external circumstance that are outside of our control.

If your worth is wrapped up in how others respond to you or perceive you, you will never feel good enough or have enough. Insecurity will continue to rule over your life.

Our value has to come from something greater than what we do or how others respond to us.

Maybe it's time to gain independence from your insecurity?

Gain your independence from insecurity by:

  • Not comparing your life to someone's social media profile

Occasionally you find people that post EVERYTHING online. It doesn't matter if it's good, bad or insane, they post it. Most of the time though, people post the best side of their life. They want to share the good things happening in their life. If we consistently look at all the great things happening in peoples lives on social media, we can quickly forget that that is not the full picture.

Everyone has good and bad things happening in their life. Nobody has a perfect life no matter who you are.

  • Not looking at your past mistakes

We shouldn't ignore our past. We need to look at what we went through and the decisions we made and ask: What can I learn from this and How can I move forward?

When we use our past mistakes to bring about change, we succeed. It's when we allow our past to define us and cripple us that we stay in bondage to those insecurities

  • Not allowing other peoples opinion to control your actions

You can't please everyone. You will always come up against people that don't like you and want you to fail. There is a huge difference between getting feedback from someone you trust and listening to negative feedback.

  • Ignore the negative voices in your head.

Our insecurities are the lies we tell ourselves regarding the skewed perceptions we have about our eternal circumstances. Our mind says things like: You're never going to be good enough, Why put in for that promotion, there is no way they will give it to you.”, You're never going to lose weight and the lies go on and on.

Life is full of wins and losses, advancement, and setback. Your worth can't come from whether or not you are having a good day or a bad day.

When we allow negative thinking to control us, we become like Mark Twain who said: I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.

Don't allow negative thinking to keep you from becoming the best version of yourself.

  • Discover what God says about you.

My worth and value come from knowing what God thinks of me. Regardless of my external circumstances, regardless of what others might say about me, my worth and value come from knowing that God loves me, is for me and not against me, will never leave, and through God all things are possible.

This is the one thing that gives me the greatest confidence when I am attacked by insecurity. Value comes from what someone is willing to pay for something. God gave his life for me. He was willing to give everything to have relationship with me. I can always go back to the fact that regardless of what is happening on the outside, on the inside I can know how much I am valued by God.

Here is an exercise you can do to help conquer insecurity:

  • Write down all the ways you feel insecure.

    • Place a check next to each one that is determined by external circumstance. ( Conditional on how others respond or perceive you )

    • Ask: How are these insecurities influencing my current behavior?

  • Write down three things you can do today to change this behavior.

  • Discover what God says about you.

Question: In what ways have you gained your independence from insecurity?

KC Cupp